i don't like sucking hair
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
