I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize