his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
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You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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