We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
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I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
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He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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