I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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