Say something about gay babies.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
