can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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