why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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