Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
