R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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