he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
