I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
