Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We got so high we made milksteak
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stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
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my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize