We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
