gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
how drunk are you?
Several
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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