I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
