People in love make me want to vomit
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Someone signed my nipple.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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