Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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