I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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