i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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