Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
