CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
