You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
