The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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