Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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