He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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