ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
