so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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