I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
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I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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