we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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