Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
