I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
