Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
