I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
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wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
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You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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