Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
