I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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