Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
