im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
