i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
