I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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