I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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