Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
