I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
