he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This is the high leading the old right now
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dick very happy bro
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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