dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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