I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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