How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
