We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
