what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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