I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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