I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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