So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
