I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize