fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
