just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
