i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
