Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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