You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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